At one point, long, long ago, in a life far, far away, I made a New Year's Resolution with my cousin David Bennett. We both resolved to never again make a New Year's Resolution. I guess it's the only New Year's Resolution I've ever kept!!
But in keeping with this old Resolution, I now only make New Year's Intentions. Goals or Goal, if you will.
Usually these are broad and sweeping, and many. As in too many to possibly keep up with, even when setting intentions. Such as "Learn guitar, clean my room (house), keep up with communication, do all sorts of crafts, blah blah, on and on, etc, etc." Tons of things to do that I never seem to keep up with. I think partly because I tend to overwhelm myself with too many things to "intend" to do. Hmmm, so still a set up for failure, it seems!!
So perhaps setting just one Intention, one Goal, might be a better direction. Something I really want. Hmmmm.
So, my New Year's Intention is that I want to look HAWT by the next Burn (meaning Burning Man 2008, August 25, 2008). And by HAWT, I mean around 150 pounds, more flexible and stronger, more shapely.
Mostly, I want to feel better. My body seems to react to weight as if it were double or triple the actual weight I am. My heart arrhythmia gets very active, my joints hurt (more than usual), I'm achy and tired all the time, I can't walk up the stairs of my house without getting out of breath and setting off my heart even more. I waddle. Yes, waddle. Blearg!!! My clothes don't fit and I don't like the way that I look.
I want to be able to do physical activities again, such as rock climbing. I never even considered that I would even like rock climbing until I met my husband who loves to climb. Granted, he hasn't been for some time as well, but I think I mostly like rock climbing because of his love for it. Somehow his love seems to translate out into me on some energetic level. When I am on belay, I can in my hands and feet, his hands and feet. I can feel his fingers curling around a handhold, his toes seeking and pushing into a tiny nubbin and holding with a confidence that I don't have in my own feet when climbing. I can feel his mind ticking away, examining the route ahead, eyes roving around. I don't have anywhere near the same knowledge or experience that he has (climbing for years and me, well, probably less than six months if you squish it down). With some refresher and strengthening, he's up to a 5.11 (fairly hard climb rating) in no time and I'm still stuck at 5.4 (pretty easy). I've been up to 5.8 but only have after really working on it. And I've never been out of the climbing gym. But, there's something about climbing I find myself attracted to. Again, I think, more through the energy body of my husband than my own attraction. And I'm okay with that.
But activities that I've always been personally drawn to, such as dancing of all forms, martial arts, fencing, etc, I want to be able to do again. And just being physical over all. I used to have a Mesomorphic body type. I barely had to exercise and just stayed thin and fit. Now, I'm more of an Endomorph, gain weight far too easily and have a hard time getting it off. I blame the military personally. Boot Camp, to be precise. Eating three massively high caloric meals in 15 minutes a day. I used to eat like a bird, little bits all throughout the day, and weighed 135 at 5'9". I joined the military and 8 weeks later I weighed 160. Yes, I was doing all the physical stuff, you can't not. And no, it wasn't muscle. About 80 percent of the women gained really bad weight. We just don't lose weight the same way and that food was built for men who lose way more calories than women. Plus eating that way seemed to kill my bird-fast metabolism and I was never able to reset it.
Anyway, I am digressing quite a bit. So, to boil it down....
My primary goal: Be healthy!! I want to weigh 150 and gain back a good amount of strength, endurance and flexibility by August 25, 2008.
I would like to set some other goals to engage in but they aren't as in important to me and I don't want to put them out there to overwhelm myself. And yes, I do notice they are the same ones that I spoke of at the beginning! But!! The primary goal is priority!!!
Secondary goals:
- Engaging in more creativity (be it crochet or jewelry or photography, just something!!).
- Start learning, or progressing with, an instrument (be it guitar, violin/fiddle, dijeridu).
- Keeping up with any classwork from classes that I take on and really studying.
- Having a clean room and house with some "spring cleaning" (getting rid of stuff).
- Maintain contact with friends and family on a more consistent basis.
- Try and finish my MFT hours, if possible.
- Stop chewing on the inside of my cheeks and lips when nervous.
Viva la New Year!!
