Moving

I used to LOVE moving. As in my body.

Dancing, martial arts, fencing, kendo, taiko, and long ago, swimming and soccer.

These days, I hate moving.

And my body has reflected that. I'm 5 feet 9 inches tall (175 cm) and at one point I weighed 135 pounds (about 61 kilograms). Then I joined the military and my weight skyrocketed to 165 and no, it wasn't muscle. Something about the food and how we had to eat it in boot camp I think. Then I moved to San Francisco and went to 180. Eeesh. Fluctuating up and down. But 180 is where I'm at now.

Food and a sedentary life style. Blah. I had dropped to 160 not eating wheat/gluten and sugar but then fell off the wagon, so to speak and went right back up. I think I said I wanted to lose inches on my body while gaining inches on my head at the beginning of the year but instead I just gained pounds.

And of course, when you're out of shape, it's even harder to get into shape. Vicious, no?

I feel fat and ugly all the time. I know it's buying into the stupid body image crap that this country, this whole damn world, carries (but very much so in America and I am a product of this learning), but I just can't seem to help it. Sometimes I'm able to find some peace around it but it's very hard. It's ingrained hardcore .

But I recently hit the point of "I'm sick of this." And I am. I want to be otter-like again! (My phrase for being svelte, sleek and sexy feminine, otters representing femininity in the Native American Animal Medicine Cards). So I decided on my birthday, I'd start doing something about it. Normally, as I've said, I'm all into the "firsts" of things. The first of the year, the month, the week. And April 19th, falling on a Thursday, was not the first of anything but I basically said fuck it. So I went back on my no wheat/gluten and sugar thing. I've let a little get through, flour tortilla, coconut popsicles, but for about four days, I've been pretty good. That got me 20 pounds over about three or four months last time. This time, I'm adding in exercise and more water. These two are harder (well it's all hard). But oh so necessary.

I think a year ago I'd purchased a bunch of exercise DVDs. I, like most desperate, out of shape Americans, am easy prey for the "Lose weight fast!" schemes. So there's this website called Beach Body that sells series of exercise programs on DVD. I was lured in and ended up buying the entire series for both Turbo Jam and Yoga Booty Ballet. They sat on my shelf after that for... well, like I said, probably a year. I think I'd tried a few sessions out in each a couple of times. Then... collection of dust.

So as I was nearing my hitting of my weight "bottom", I was always thinking: I'll get a month pass to a nearby yoga/dance/gym/whatever-exercise-place studio and start going there. Then I hit the "bottom" and, realizing I don't really have that kind of money, pulled those DVDs off the shelf and dusted them off.

Oh my Gods, they are silly, I will admit. And for some reason I feel so embarrassed doing them that I have to go into my room and close the door. No one allowed to watch and I still feel silly!

But they get me moving.

Turbo Jam is led by the extremely perky Chalene Johnson who bounces about with insane energy and cheerleader spirit. "C'mon, you at home, get up and move with us!! You can do it! You rock!! Whoooo!" It may feel silly but at least it's way more genuine than YBB (as you read on). In fact, she seems to really, truly be that excited to be there, just to be helping you out. I suppose it's supposed to be inspirational. I think I always end up grumbling, "Yeah, yeah, okay, okay, shut up now." but maybe am slightly, secretly pleased.

Apparently she had studied martial arts, dance and aerobics and decided to put all those together to create Turbo Jam. (Which appeals to my loves as well, minus the aerobics). It's the more caloric burn of the two series although it does incorporate some sculpting and strengthening. I just started with the "Learn and Burn" part, where you go over her "Elite 11 Moves" that she created and then you do a little 16 minute workout.

To get some idea of what kind of shape I'm in, I was panting during the "Here's how you do this move..." which was barely moving. The actual session involves a hell of a lot of kicking and moving about, including the "Turbo" itself which is a few minutes of pushing it as hard as you can.

So, that's the aerobic part of my workout. And since I have the entire series, I can choose from any type of workout in that series: cardio "party", ab work, buns work, blah blah.

Then there's Yoga Booty Ballet. I think I would have shot my publicist for that one. Yeah, yeah, clever and appeals to the masses of this crazy, contemporary world that loves booty and such. I still would have had my publicist hung by toenails. For Turbo Jam, too; they're both dumb.

Yoga Booty Ballet is exactly that, the infusion of yoga with ballet and booty, in this case sometimes being sculpting and sometimes referring to "shake your booty, get funky". It mostly seems to be stretching and strengthening with small weights although later in the series, has some dancy routines to get you moving more.

It's all very Hollywood, apparently popular there as well. It's also very white light, new age crap too. The poser kind that I really abhor. I don't mind yoga or meditation or goddessing but it has to be genuine, it has to be real. Like Marty said in his entry about Cafe Gratitude, that it never would have worked were it not sincere.

YBB is headed by two women, Gillian Marloth (blond) and Teigh McDonough (brunette). Gillian seems like she's high, all limp eyed and breathy voiced, "As you reach your arms up, it's as if you're aspiring towards the sky and holding the sun in your arms!" PUKE.

Teigh seems a little more genuine and energetic, taking you through the exercises in a more "instructor" type of way, with some cheerleading, "Look, you finished this section! Congratulations!" Her I don't mind as much. I can handle that.

And so it begins. The mad dash for otter-ness. And I've noticed already a slight obsession. If I was sedentary before, now I see a flip. I want to try and exercise every day. I think about exercising several times a day (although I don't).

You know how men can make an sexual innuendo out of anything? Woman: "Excuse me, my oil needs to be changed?" Man: "Hehe, I'll change your oil!" Okay, I exaggerate, but I myself am like this, with fretting and drama. I can infuse a good fret and drama into just about anything. I'm serious.

Do I do the Yoga Booty Ballet because I really need the stretching and strengthening or the Turbo Jam for the calorie/weight loss burn? And I can seriously get quite anxious over this very silly question.

But I think, at this point, it just comes down to moving my lazy ass. In any fashion, be it those DVDs, walking, biking, sex, dancing, practicing with my fire toys.

Just get Moving!!