This Drama Ain't Mine

We had a crazy staff meeting today. Not that our staff meetings aren't usually pretty crazy but this one was extra special. Boss started intimating there was some "story" to be told and that it wasn't good. Camille was in tears a couple of times, Nadine (co-worker) and Larry (another co-worker) looked pretty bummed out. Christian (new co-worker), Laura and I were not in the loop of whatever had happened so we were just sitting there, watching the others and looking at each other, wondering what had happened. Anne kept cranking it up (meaning the emotional scare of this story to come that she was just not unfolding and the phones kept ringing) until I was sure that when she finally came out with it, she was going to say that a resident had committed suicide or killed someone else. When she did finally come out with it, that a female resident had been pressured and even physically pressured to give a male resident oral sex, I was sure the end of the story was going to be that he had raped her. But the female resident managed to get away without this occurring.

Now, don't get me wrong, when these things happen, it is traumatic for most involved. It's traumatic for the "victim", it's traumatic for the "perpetrator" (since he has his own diagnoses and vulnerabilities and is going to be hauled off by the police to jail) and for staff, dealing with the whole thing. But the level of emotion that had been put out, didn't match. And please, don't forget where we work! This sort of thing happens and it doesn't help to have staff get all bent out of shape. Take care of yourself, yes. But ramp it down, lady. A couple of us seemed in agreement, silently, about this.

But silent not for long! Because our stupid cunt boss went around the circle of staff members asking each person how and what they were feeling about the incident. An incredibly inappropriate thing for a boss to do, especially one who is not your clinical supervisor. Lords. So, when it came around to me, I basically shot something off about thinking what to do in Women's Group (one of the groups I run) and that I had experience and training in working with trauma survivors. Crazy cunt boss went on for another hour about how we should not disclose personal stuff to the client and how do we take care of ourselves, etc, again going around the room and if someone was silent, asking them straight out. On and on and I'm sitting there wondering just what the hell is going on and why does this incident need so much attention. Other than the fact that obviously, crazy boss has some history of her own that she is projecting everywhere and onto everyone.

But at the end of the staff meeting, I had come to the definite conclusion:

This drama ain't mine, you can have it.

And when I left, I felt pretty damn good for the rest of the day. I did not take that shit on, no thank you. And thankfully, too. Because I used to get so caught up in this stuff but now I'm learning how to not let the crazy boss burn my furnace too.